Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Whipped or Buttercream?

"I just don't understand, we use to talk all the time, see each other 3 or 4 times a week. Now he just calls once a week, I know it's because he is just busy because when we talk he is sweet to me and tells me he I'm his princess. When we have sex its great and I can tell he is really into me. I am sooo ready for us to get married and be together!! He is my Noah!"

Or...

"We only see each other twice a week, it's the perfect relationship, we both have our space. But, sometimes when I need him he isn't available or doesn't answer his phone, I'm sure its just bad cell coverage. I think over time, once he stops being scared of a relationship that will get better. Because I know he is taking it slow so that we end up together, it's going to be perfect!"

Or...

"He only calls when he wants to come over or me come to his house and have sex, when we are together its amazing, I just wish we could do other things like go on dates and hang out more. I guess that will come the more we get to know each other."

Uhm… No it wont, ever. Why? Because you let him. Let him what?
Have his cake and eat it too…


Its every mans dream and guess who is the boss when it comes to allowing the cake having and eating? You. The woman. If you let him, he will. Yes even your man who kisses you in the rain and tells you that your eyes are like little moons of love.

Men are pros at having their cake and eating it too. They know everything to say, every twist, every approach possible to stay in a state of having a full belly and a fresh slice of cake on their plate.
Why? Because women let them.


Some women are ok with it, some are hoping it turns into more, but trust me, like he said from date number 1, it won't. You know the deal, however you allow him to only see you every so often and never commit. That doesn't make him an @sshole, that makes you dumb.
Women, wise up. If you let him treat you like a whore then he will.

If you let him treat you like Thursday girl, he will.
If you let him spend time with you purely at his convenience, he will.
If you let him ignore you, then he will.
If you let him get away with you paying every time, then he will.
If you let him get away with never taking you out, then he will.

Yes, even your guy, the one that is going to be "the one guy that proves to you all guys aren't the same".
All that is fine, as long as you aren't thinking "he's going to come around and commit any day now, I can feel it…"
If you want to be treated like a princess then act that way. Demand it, If he can't or won't then next in line please.
It's funny. In our society today all women are scared to make a man commit or talk about relationships because they fear they will run him off. It's the biggest taboo that any woman can do; ask "Where is this going?"

However, that is insane. That's a perfectly legitimate question. If that scares him then so what? It's not going to work anyway, move on, find someone new. Of course don't ask it a week after you meet him; but at some point you need to know if he is even available for a commitment.

If not, you will be cake, I promise you.

Some of you have icing on you as you read this. Of course you are the same ones reading and saying "Its different for me and my Bobby. He is just stressed from work. That's why he doesn't call very much, or when he's home he's not REALLY THERE. He loves me SO much. Four days ago he told me so. We are soul mates."

No, no you aren't. You are his whore. Sorry to break it to you.

What was that you say? You don't want to find someone new because you feel so good when you are with him and he treats you so good? Well of course he does, he only has to see you twice a week.
Don't get me wrong, some women are ok with this arrangement and there is nothing wrong with that. Lots of women just want a guy to see every so often, show them a good time, company and toe curling orgasms and then move on. That is perfectly respectful and ok. However if you want more than this but continue to let him only give you this, then you are enabling it.

Again, it doesn't make him an @sshole, it makes him a man.

Put your foot down and say: "Enough is enoug. We have had enough time to find out if we like each other, if we are compatible, if we mesh. I need you to get in this with me. I need you to be there for me when I need you. I need a full time partner in this, not you to keep checking in and out when its convenient for you. Now either we are gonna do this or we aren't."

If he can't respect that then he isn't a man. Of course he might tell you to take a walk but at least you and your emotions/feelings aren't dangling from a string anymore.

Before you have that conversation you better be ready for the consequences though. If you take a stand, he says take a walk and you text him 2 nights later at 11pm asking him how he is doing and that you miss him then you will be the butt of him and his friends jokes the next day at lunch.

The moral of this blog is that you are in control of how you are treated, you set the rules, you set the boundaries; don't leave them up to anyone else. That applies to any area your life, YOU dictate how you are treated.

1 comment:

**şeym@** said...

oh my Gosh, you're damn right girl!!!!!

your observations (or experiences let's say) are just wonderful...

şeyma