Monday, June 15, 2009

Love as Deep as the BS I'm Eating

I hear it all the time. After a breakup, someone is sure that person is the most incredible person who will ever cross her path. No one else will be like him. He was the squeeze in her cheese. The yin to her yang. The ping to her pong. Yeah yeah yeah.

He was THE love of your life.

So...if that's the case, riddle me this. Why did he leave you? Yes, you heard me right. THE love of your life won't be walking out that door, I don't care what you say. Unless you are just hell on wheels to deal with, he's going to stick it out...because you have the greatest love ever.

But you don't. You know why? Because the greatest love ever doesn't involve you being a psycho and him putting up with it. Or him cheating on you or treating you badly and you dealing with it. When two people are right for each other, everything clicks into place.

Sure, you have rough spots, but you work to smooth them out...why? Because you have the greatest love of all time, that's why. They say love is blind. Well, apparently it's also deaf and stupid as all get-out. When you're in it, you tell everyone you have the greatest relationship ever. You don't tell anyone he's selfish in bed or he hogs all the covers. You don't mention how he forgot the last three special occasions and you had to buy your own birthday card.

He's just the greatest.

Until he leaves you. You hope once he leaves you, you face these awful truths about him. Because if you don't, you're headed down a path everyone hates to see someone go down. It's the, "Oh-my-god-I'll-never-find-a-man-as-wonderful-as-him" pity party anyone with a friend has personally seen. They all see through it. They know he was a whack-job but what they can't tell you is...he was a whack-job because of you. YOU turned him into that. Yeah, it's not what anyone wants to hear, but it's true.

Tell me, can you look back over all your relationships and say you were exactly the same in each relationship? Aren't there some relationships where you simply were with someone who brought out the psycho in you??? People behave strangely when they know something isn't right. Your behavior rubs him the wrong way so he reacts by being grouchy. You make the conclusion he's just a grouchy person and, after the breakup, pity the next girl he dates because she's now stuck with your former grouch. Only, the next girl he dates has a completely different personality from that fits better with his. Thus, he's not really grouchy with her.

He's not cheating either. Nor is he trying to find excuses to go out with his friends and leave her at home. It's an ugly truth, but one we all have to face at one time or another. It falls under the "He's Just Not That Into You" category. But, even you can admit, when you aren't all that into someone you aren't the same person as you are when you're in love. You just aren't.

The question then remains...why do we stay with people who bring out the worst in us? How can we so easily miss the signs that this isn't the man of our dreams. That this is, in fact, Mr. All Wrong For Me. Wouldn't it be easier if love wasn't so darn blind?

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