Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It Is What It Is...

Since starting this blog I've had several people email me asking me what on earth made me think the way I do.

Ok, if you want to know what I am thinking today, here it is.

We had everything.
We had the never ending love affair.
We had exactly what we wanted.
We had an understanding of each others needs and knew exactly how important meeting those were and we were good at it too.
We had communication without the fear of consequence.

We could have had date nights factored into our future budget.
We could have had a play room with a stripper pole, with a locked door in our future house plans.
We could have had fun sitting on the floor or looking at the wall.
We could have still breathed heavy when we kissed.
We could have still got butterflies before dates.
We could have solved any problem.
We could have understood and forgave anything.
We could have been rockstars out of the house and the brady bunch inside the house.

We defined the word balance.

You finally found the woman that could embrace and thrive on who you REALLY are. I finally found the man who could handle who I REALLY am. Not only just handle, but perfectly compliment each other. If we both had written down exactly what we wanted on a piece of paper and turned them over at the same time they would match, line by line, word by word.

We were untouchable.

I’ll never forgive you for screwing that up.
I'll never forgive you for being selfish.
I'll never forgive you for underestimating me - the lengths I would go for you - the levels of patience I had for you - the level of sacrifice I was dying to make - the levels of fair compromise I was dying to meet you on - the forgiveness I had that came from adoring you.
I’ll never forgive you for me not being able to build that playhouse under the tree.
I’ll never forgive you for no breakfast in bed.
I’ll never forgive you for no all night red bull/vodka bedroom parties.
I’ll never forgive you for no bed time stories and tucking in.
I’ll never forgive you for no helping with homework.
I’ll never forgive you for no mini gardens.
I’ll never forgive you for no lemonade stands.
I’ll never forgive you for no picking out shoes and dresses for our dates.
I’ll never forgive you for no sex that never stopped being like the first time.
I’ll never forgive you for no ridiculous public displays of affection.
I’ll never forgive you for no puppy chow.
I’ll never forgive you for no parking lot photo shoots.
I’ll never forgive you for no family dinners.
I’ll never forgive you for no pick up sticks, hair bows, toenail painting, hair brushing, shoe tying, drink opening, bike riding, dance recitals, hamster catching, pool trips, question answering, puppy prints.
I’ll never forgive you for no sweet notes, hand kissing, gifts, meal cooking, late night 12 packs on the porch, paw prints, door openings when I had a dress on, shoe surprises, very infrequent flowers, very frequent gestures of adoration.

I’ll never forgive you for no more me being there for you.

Where? There. Everytime you needed me, where ever that might be.

I’ll never forgive you for not letting me give you the world, because it’s all I have ever wanted since the day I met you.

PS I dont want any comments. You asked what was on my mind. Well here it is.

2 comments:

**şeym@** said...

sorry for commenting but i'm new in exploring your blog. i just wanna say some words.

no matter what, this writing is a great display of how one can feel and how one can utter those feelings.

nice to meet you through this post. i had come up with some ideas thanx to you.

-şeyma

BeingT said...

Hi! Thanks so much for being interested in this crazy thing I call a life!
It great meeting you as well. I'm really enjoying your work as well.

-Truds