3 Life Lessons

1. Nothing Is Impossible
Let's face it: If a person that is 400 pounds can get into run-a-marathon shape in four months, we as human beings are capable of just about anything.
2. You Should Never Ask "Why Me"-Instead, Ask "Why NOT Me?"
Society—and sometimes even our own friends and family members—says you are arrogant and selfish if you want to be anything beyond the norm. Strive to become healthier or richer or more successful than average and it becomes a "Who do you think you are?" scenario. That is such a crock.
The next time you feel less-than or undeserving of making a healthy change, ask yourself that question: Why not you?
Learn to stop asking "Why me?" and ask this question: "Why not me?" Why not me get gorgeous, healthy and famous? Why not me fall in love? Why not me have the career of my dreams? And here is the best part: by putting yourself first for once, you change your life, achieve your goals and inspire a nation. So, the next time you feel less-than or undeserving of making a healthy change, ask yourself that question: Why not you?
3. You Must Choose To Be Happy
Life will not always be easy. You won't always be happy. Things will go wrong that are unfair and totally out of your control, but ... you have a choice. You can choose to become a victim of these unfortunate events or you can choose to learn from them and grow.
A lot of people have had very sad lives—some filled with tragedy, filled with physical and emotional hardship. But the ones who succeed in life do so because they come to find a meaning and purpose in their struggles that propels them towards a beautiful rich fulfilling future.

Every song has an ending; that's no reason to not enjoy the music.

Dang you Jenny McCathy

Tonight I was thinking and since my mind is always the one thing that keeps me from falling asleep I figured I would empty it all out here so I can get a good days’ rest. So please excuse me if this post is somewhat random and discombobulated!

People always say you'll never forget your first love. That first love is always the most intense. It makes you feel the highest of highs. Its butterflies and fireworks and tingles and just pure joy. And it will stay with you forever. So what makes this first love so great? I think it is because your heart is fresh and whole and new. You don't have any battle scars because your heart has never been broken. You have no reason not to completely trust them. You have nothing else to compare it to. It is all shiny and new and great!

So how do you capture that "first love" feeling again?

First, I think you have to give time for your heart wounds to heal. The deeper the wound, the more time you need to take to make sure it is not going to rip open and start bleeding all over the place again. If you go right into another relationship without that wound healing, it will rip open again and you will never get over those past wrongs. You'll bring all that hurt with you into the new relationship and blame the new guy for ripping open that fresh wound again, when if you would have taken the time to let it heal, it may have just been a little scratch. A scratch can be forgiven, but when you are hurt and your heart is bleeding you end up losing your mind and usually the relationship.

Second, I think you have to let go of expectations. That is a really hard one. By this point we all have expectations. We have formed this perfect guy in our head. We think the situation going into the relationship has to be just so. He has to behave a certain way. And whether we like to admit it or not, we may even have expectations like "he is probably going to lie or cheat or turn out to be a loser". I think to truly experience that "first love" feeling you have to let go of all that. Let go of all the expectations, fears, and standards and just feel.

You know the feeling. You see them and get a heightening of the senses. You feel all tingly. You want to stare at them (but not). It almost feels like your whole body is smiling and you can't help it. Just thinking of them makes you smile. You think about them at random times and then when you are finally around them you get a little flutter deep in your stomach. It's a great feeling and it can happen at the most random times when you meet the most random people

Finally, I think you have to really believe that you deserve that kind of love. Jenny McCarthy said that on Oprah (yes Oprah), so it isn't my original thought, but it really struck a cord with me. Do people really believe they deserve love like that? Intellectually I know I do, but does my heart believe it? I think I need to work at that one.

Tuesday's Thought

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. - Krishnamurti

Marketing of Life

What are your strengths? You have probably been asked this questions in an interview before (don’t even get me started on the weakness question…seriously there just isn’t a good answer for that one and 90% of the time it will probably be some BS that will be turned into a strength). Back to the real topic here- Strengths! Everyone has at least one and we need to devote more time to developing these. Enter StrengthsFinder 2.0 (I love how they worked that buzz word 2.0 into the title).

I bought this book several months ago after my Marketing Instructor spoke on it and I was completely frustrated at work (not that I’m not still frustrated. I’m just on to the acceptance phase now). Anyway, I went on a business book shopping spree that night at BarnesandNoble.com (hey- it’s better than eating Sweet Sixteen Chocolate Donuts!). I ended up with StrengthFinder 2.0 and “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” (also a great book). I read both that week and felt so inspired!

Anyway, I was reminded of how much I loved this book today when I was plundering through my tiny-almost-nonexsistant-file-cabinet-called-locker at work and saw my little strength summary report:
Strategic
Futuristic
Individualization
Analytical
Ideation

I think these fit me to a T in the workplace. Part of the reason I get so frustrated at work is because there never seems to be time for strategy. If there is any strategy talk, that’s all it is –talk. There is no one leading the charge for change (and believe me it is needed). No one looking past themselves. No energy behind the ideas. So I guess I need to figure out how to work these strengths into what I do everyday more in order to feel more fulfilled. There could be changes on the horizon soon and that is always a good thing. Have no fear. Keep moving forward and embrace the change! (Read also the book “Who Moved My Cheese?” or Obama’s acceptance speech.) So I've decided I'm donating my book to the Comm Center library...I can always take it with me when I go...

40 ounces of Freedom

So I decided to make a list of 40 things I want to do before I am 40; maybe starting it will be me out of the mood that I'm missing out on something I can't put my finger on.
I just don't want life to pass me by and I want to make sure I have fun while I can. So I'll keep you updated on my progress!

1. Get in the best shape of my life
2. Get a job I love
3. Go to a water park and not feel self-conscious
4. Catch a fish
5. Go on a mission trip
6. Grow a plant and NOT kill it
7. Remodel a room on my own
8. Travel to Italy
9. Go skinny dipping
10. Sit through a Star Trek movie
11. Visit San Francisco, CA
12. Take dance lessons (now that I’m an adult Clogging just doesn’t count)
13. Sing karaoke
14. Invest in the stock market directly
15. Read the Bible all the way through
16. Go out to eat by myself (To-go does not count)
17. Learn to swim
18. Buy one piece of expensive jewelry for myself
19. Go to a Yankees game
20. Be an extra on a film
21. Learn how to take a compliment
22. Learn not to say yes when I really mean no
23. Write the novel I know I have inside me
24. Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day…w/o going home
25. Drink beer at Oktoberfest in Munich
26. Show in a waterfall
27. Write down my personal mission statement, follow it, and revise it from time to time.
28. Make a complete and utter fool of myself.
29. Pose nude for a professional photographer
30. Go wild in Rio during Carnival
31. Spend Christmas on the beach drinking Malibu & Diet
32. Overcome my fear of failure.
33. Be able to handle: my tax forms, Jehovah's Witnesses, my banker, telephone solicitors.
34. Kiss the Blarney stone.
35. Closed restaurant - Only I know what this one is...
36. Run the Boston Marathon
37. Learn to play golf.
38. Learn to take “real” photographs
39. Donate money and put my name on something: a college scholarship, a bench in the park.
40. Make grave etchings in Lousiana

Paralysis

Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus

One of the hardest things in life is trying to figure out which paths to go down. There are big decisions and small decisions that effect the direction that our lives will take everyday. How do you know when you are doing the right thing?

I am a pretty indecisive person by nature. I love the middle of the road. In politics I refuse to mold my opinions to that of any one party’s beliefs. In high school I dropped out of the highest level of classes and down to regular courses because I was more content to be mediocre at a lot of things (school work, band, soccer, cheerleading, ect.) rather that really stand out in any one thing. With my friends I always try to be the peacemaker and avoid any real conflict. I even hate picking out a place to eat. (I once wasted my whole lunch hour because I couldn’t decide!)

But in life you have to make decisions. If you aren’t happy with the way things are, you have to do something to change them. If you ignore problems, they get bigger. If you become complacent, you loose the joy in life. If you do the same thing over and over again you will get the same result.

So what holds me back from making decisions? Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear that I am not doing the right thing. Fear that this decision is the wrong one. Fear that I may regret this. Fear that they may not like me. Fear that I don’t really want this. Fear of being uncomfortable. Fear of being hurt. Fear of looking stupid. Fear of failure.

I pray about things all the time. Pray that God will give me signs that point me in the right direction. But even when I pray I worry that I am praying for the wrong thing or for the wrong reasons. Am I being too selfish? Should I be happy with what God has already blessed me with? Should I not even worry about what is going on in my life and pray for the poor, suffering, sick, or lost souls that I may not even know?

But I don’t think doubt is a bad thing. It makes you think about things more. You explore other options. Think about the rewards and consequences of each decision. But how do you find that balance between thinking things through and over-analyzing?

Eventually you do have to make choices. You have to go out into the world everyday and be faced with decisions. Psychologist and philosopher William James said “When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice.” I just hope and pray that the decisions and choices I make everyday are good ones and lead me down the right path!

A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one. ~Rita Mae Brown

Why is all this on my mind today you may ask? Well, I have only read one chapter in my latest book because I can not shut off my mind lately! I read one page and don't even know what I read because I was THINKING too much! Does this mean I have a decision to be made that will bring me peace so I can get back to escaping into other people's worlds instead of living in my own???

Memorial Monday

Memorial Day...as many of you that actually know me are aware, I've kept a journal since Mrs Dixie Harris started my passion in Third Grade. There have been times in my life when I stopped for a brief while, between screwed up relationships, babies, etc. However, as my "Fabs" will tell you, the past year or so has really been changing to me.
I've went from writing about "What I Did on Summer Vacation" to keeping up with the seven best friends a woman could have, and still maintain a career, family, and school. But I've suddenly realized I'm quickly approaching the big 3-0, and there is so much in life that I haven't came close to doing that I want to do; nor am I close to being the person in life I want to be.
I've became addicted to self-help books & magazines, and recently read that a quick tip to feel happier is to start a blog. Not only that, but I've no where to keep journals anymore. Don't get me wrong, the earlier ones are well hidden (and I'm contemplating burning them), but some things you just don't want sitting on a book shelf.
So this is my official blog...lets see how it goes. Writing your feelings down is supposed to help you let go of things and since I've been stressed lately maybe this will help. So where am I at in life right now? In six months I will be 29, once year closer to 30. (Duh..) I like my job, but not nearly as much as someone should who wants to make a career out of it. I've been married for 8 months, and lets just say its great, but could be so much better...I have two wonderful children, who I always feel I'm not nearly a good enough mother to. Trying to be everything to everyone certainly takes its toll. Especially when you don't feel you're doing enough. On the flip side, I have a great group of friends that I love. I'm in school TRYING to figure out what to do to be happy at work. So things are too terribly bad.
Being an adult is hard, and lately I've come to resent growing up. I hope to change that...one step at a time...