So read mine, chuckle and snort...but YOU are next. The challenge is to think about what it is like to date or live with you from the other person's perspective. It's about putting all of your flaws out there for the world to see.
It's Not Easy Dating Me
- by All the Men Trudy Has Loved
The first thing you notice about Trudy is that she appears to have it all together. She's the one everyone comes to for advice; but what no one really realizes is, deep down, she is just as lost as everyone else. Trudy comes across at first as a pretty tough cookie. She is sweet, sarcastic, and has loads of energy. She can't wait to do fun things and is always coming up with new and interesting idea. The only problem with that tough cookie exterior is she keeps lots of things to herself. You think you know her.
But you don't.
She's an odd combination. She likes to think she's not an introvert, but her heart can cause her to go deep inside herself and not let anyone in. It's very rare she lets anyone ever really get to know her. I'm pretty sure no one ever has. If someone really got inside, they might be able to hurt her...so she keeps the world at a distance.
Trudy most days is a mess and what’s worse is she knows it. She tells you straight up from the beginning that the only thing she has ever done consistently is make the wrong decisions. When you talk to her though you know there is more to her than this hard front she puts up. She cares so much that she has to hide behind her shell. She cries easily but you don’t want to be the person that makes her shed tears. Trudy doesn’t forgive easily.
A lot of people have hurt her and she doesn’t trust easily. It’s hard to get to know Trudy all at one time...when you learn the big stuff it will probably be out of the blue and inconsistently. One minute everything is fine and the next you are learning of some deep childhood trauma and the really weird thing is she doesn’t want to talk about it….she just wants to tell you, she wants you hear what happened so you can know her.
Trudy procrastinates with the best of them and about everything. Things that most people think are just daily chores are things she finds insignificant and doesn’t have the time for. I can almost guarantee that if she lived alone the laundry would never get folded; clean but not folded.
But then there's this extroverted side of Trudy that longs for attention. That's the side that gets a guy in trouble. Trudy will often go hours without saying a word while her resentment builds and builds. Then suddenly she explodes. You see, it's not that she just suffers...she wants the world to know she suffers. Particularly the man she's with. Ninety percent of everything she gets upset has something to do with attention.
She likes to talk but if you can’t hold a conversation she gets bored and wanders off. She needs someone who can challenge her intellectually and has a very low tolerance for childishness and needless drama. She hates to argue but if you ever decide you need to argue you had better bring facts and not feelings because she will rip you to shreds with logic even if she cries later about the emotional stuff.
If there's one thing Trudy doesn't like, it's being invisible. Especially to the man she loves. When life's many distractions cause a man to neglect her for any period of time, she begins to feel taken for granted. Eventually she gives up on trying to get his attention and retreats back into herself - or worse, someone else.
On the flip side of all of that, Trudy is a strong, spirited, loving partner. Despite what was mentioned above, she is a very independent person. Almost too independent at times. It seems she WANTS attention, she just doesn't NEED it. She fears if anyone puts too much of a spotlight on her, he will see her flaws. So as soon as she's in that spotlight, she deflects it. It's a frustrating contrast...most of the time a man has no idea how to respond to any of it.
What's it like to live with her? Oh hell...don't make her mad. She has this short temper that she claims she has fixed, yet the silent treatment creeps up on you, and then BAM... she screams and everything might suddenly be your fault even if it really isn't. But, there's really only certain things in particular that set her off...you just probably won't know what they are until it's too late.
Speaking of what's wrong... The word "nothing" is her favorite response to that... Her second favorite would be "I'm fine." And if you just drop it after she says "nothing" a time or two, nothing will ever get solved. Trust me, something is wrong with her. She just wants you to act like you care and keep bugging her to get it out of her.
Trudy will never come out and tell you what she wants or ask you for anything, which can be frustrating. If her back hurts, she'll whine about her back hurting a little and let herself be miserable instead of simply asking for a massage. If she doesn't have money for a bill to get it paid on time, she won't ask you for it. No, instead she'll whine a little about not having the money and stay stressed out til she comes up with it on her own.
On an easier note, the number one way to her heart is words. (Well, that and really really good sex...) Although you can't use just any old line with Trudy, the right words can put you in her heart forever. Her favorite thing in the whole world are cards - of the handwritten type. There is nothing more sweeter to her than little notes left here and there.
All in all, she's definately a hard one to figure out. But aren't we all, when we really look at ourselves? She's a great girl, with great ideas...she just probably won't share them with you. She thinks most people really aren't worth her time or energy...and many don't prove her wrong...