Sunday, July 12, 2009

Good grief

I just got into a huge disagreement with a very dear friend of mine. Well, huge on their end, because, well, I simply can’t help the person I am, not will I change it.

I am a very un-emotional girl. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't have my moments, I mean I have bad days just like the next girl. But I handle mine in very different ways. I rarely cry, and usually when I do cry it is because I am mad. I don't gush over hallmark cards or romantic comedies. I do love babies and puppies but it's more of a "wow look how cute that puppy is, let me go smash his face into mine and shove my fingers in his mouth and let him nibble on me" rather than aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

I don't mean to come across this way; I swear I don't. I am just not the type of person to randomly make chit-chat with people. I don't even ever call my best friend that often. Ask him, he'll tell you. If he is in instant messenger I might send him a quick line, or I might shoot him a text to see what his plans are, but I definitely don't ever call just to chat about life.

I'm just not that person. I am very self-involved and very task-oriented. I work under the assumption that if someone needs me they will let me know. But from some people’s point of of view, I come across as if I don't care or am not excited about what is going on in their life. This is a problem I run into often. I forget that people don't just need help with tasks, but that they also need that personal touch. A text, a phone call, some sort of indication that you are there and listening and interested.

If you show me a picture of something beautiful, I will in my head think “Wow, that is beautiful,” but outwardly I will probably just nod my head and smile. I am just not a gusher; I don't squeal and tear up over the normal mess that girls get all giggly over. And there is nothing wrong with girls who are that way. In fact, sometimes I wish I was that way because then maybe I would fit in better with women. I end up with all guy friends because I get uncomfortable around typical girly things. I just don't do emotions well. And as great as it is for business and work, it sucks when it comes to those I care about.

So I may not be emotional, and I may not be touchy-feely, and I may end up inadvertently hurting people I care about due to my lack of mush, but I can make up for it in my own little non-gushy ways. At least I hope so...

1 comment:

**şeym@** said...

good for you! sometimes i wish i was like the way you are actually. balance is pretty important here...