When Carrie Fisher was a baby, her father, Eddie Fisher, left her mother, Debbie Reynolds for Elizabeth Taylor. A few years after they married, Taylor dumped Fisher. He hurt after the loss of his Elizabeth and still, according to his daughter, thinks of her as the "Great love of his life." In a cruel twist of irony, Elizabeth thinks of him as a "mistake."
This blog isn't about the romantic escapades of Hollywood. It's about the irony of one person pining away for someone who spends the rest of her life regretting the time she spent with that person. If I, personally, knew someone thought of me as a mistake, you can bet your butt I'd be rethinking how I remembered him. But then, I don't spend my life pining over someone from my past.
In the movie Adaptation (which if you haven't seen is awesome), a character said something that struck me hard. I've searched for the quote since and can't find it, but in short, the character was speaking of a girl he loved in high school who basically thought of him as a joke. Someone asked if that bothered him and he said no. That was HIS love, he said. HIS happiness. No one could take that away from him.
Is it pride? Maybe.
I just have never been much for unrequited love. Sure, in high school I had my fair share of crushes on boys who barely knew I existed. Nor did they care. I had fun while it lasted but you can bet, once I finally opened my eyes and realized I was nothing more to them than a nuisance, I high-tailed my behind out of there.
All the time I see people pining over someone from years ago. My mom is a classic example. Ah, the "one that got away." It's clear, when you talk to these people, that the object of their affections has moved on. In most cases they're married, had a kid or two, and isn't giving them a second thought. If they are, it's certainly not to wax poetic about what "might have been."
Remembering that high school crush or that ex-spouse they lost...
Is it wrong for someone to spend so much time and energy on someone who either thinks of you as a mistake or doesn't think of you at all? Or is it as the character in Adaptation said?
It's your love. YOUR happiness. No one can take it away from you.
"You are what you love, not what loves you." -Adaptation